Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
