Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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