apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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