So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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