Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize