We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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