nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
