i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
