That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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