Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
