i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
