Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
