just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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