Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
