I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
