Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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