plz talk dirty to me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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