Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
