either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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