your thong is hanging out like whoa
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
