I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
