HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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