Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
