saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
