i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
