we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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