he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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