I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Oh god it's open bar.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize