You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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