So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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