If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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