I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
