i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
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Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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