she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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