I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
