Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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