Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
