Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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