Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize