I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize