singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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