Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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