He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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