NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
