Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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