you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
