I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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