They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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