I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
