: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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