Do vagina's smell?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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