using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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