and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just invented taco cereal.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
