your parents love me but you hate me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Randomize
