Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize