oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
