Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
